Today was a great day: the AT had a great idea for a date day to the big city today and it was so refreshing to just have a day to feel like a normal couple. Not people who are living everyday wondering why and the hell we aren’t afforded the same luxury as others regarding parenthood. We were just ‘us’ for the first time in a good long while. For that I am incredibly thankful.
Last night I think I had my first major meltdown regarding the reality of IVF and how terrified I am. My depression/anxiety is at an all time high and I question if I will be able to recover if IVF doesn’t work the first time. I’m not sure where we are supposed to have all this money hiding and ready to come out whenever we need a random $15,000 to have an opportunity to have a child. The reality that this is just a chance (and not a guarantee) at having a family is honestly terrifying. I woke up today wondering how I would be able to look at the AT if (when) the IVF doesn’t work. How am I supposed to live every day questioning all of these things?
Just a few thoughts….hope y’all have a great week!
By the way, what was that Walking Dead?!?!
Tape it up y’all, The AT’s Wife