Sometimes I am amazed by my ability to turn my entire world upside down with a single sentence.
I will be the first to admit that I have a big mouth…one that had me in deep shiz with my parents most of my teenage years, and one that to this day gets my rear end into trouble.
Today was a prime example, the AT got home from a two day work trip last night and I have already said something that is leading to radio silence from him. Which for me is the absolute greatest form of torture…I can dish out silence like it’s cake but can’t eat it.
I have an intense love/hate relationship with cell phones. The AT and I lived over an hour apart from each other basically our entire dating lives and we spent many hours on the phone each week keeping up with each other. I love that I am able to keep up with him but this also means everyone else can as well. It’s especially bad because he has a work cell phone and a personal cell. If an athlete/coach/community member/administrator/UPS delivery guy can’t reach him on his work phone they call around until someone will give them the personal cell number. It’s annoying to say the least. It’s a Sunday, he was gone from Thursday until Saturday evening but he was still scheduled to see an athlete. About 15 minutes before they are supposed to meet the AT, a text come in on his personal cell informing him that the athlete is out of town and won’t be back for 4 hours and can meet him then.
I swear on my life I didn’t say a damn word, I communicated non-verbally loud and clear, but didn’t open my mouth.
Then…the AT says, “Don’t be like that, it’s not my fault. You know I’ll get my butt chewed by the coach if I don’t check on the kid!”
The truth is there, I know it would be perceived as his fault instead of the athletes…I’ve been around long enough to know this. But, here is my thing: he has been gone, we have our first IVF consult in the morning, and I’ve been cooking/baking like a damn crazy lady trying to make a nice early birthday dinner for tonight. We had just agreed on a time we would both be back from school to have said big birthday dinner when this text came in and much to my chagrin the time we had scheduled for dinner was when this athlete could show up!
Over it…I just wish that people would respect the time that the AT and I have together because it’s not very much.
This is how our week pans out:
Monday-IVF consult, playoff game out of town
Tuesday- AT’s bday, school dinner he has to present at
Wednesday- might be flying out of town with his boss
Thursday- might still be gone
Friday- playoff game out of town
Saturday- playoff games out of town
All of this is happening on top of everything else. Cycle day 1 is today and why I’m always bummed, I’m hoping that this will prevent us from having to wait anymore before we get this IVF show on the road.
So, I’m off to get my plans together for my substitute tomorrow and try to start breathing normally again.
Always waiting on a man,
Trying to tape it up, The AT’s Wife